Sometimes I wonder…

Jessica Hill White

Yesterday at 6:22 PM  · Sometimes I wonder if I have any heart left to give the animals that lives go so terribly wrong that their path intersects with mine. I’ve been at this for many years now, my entire life actually. Even at Ivys age I was out feeding the ant colonies, looking for baby birds that had fallen from their nests, and catching the frogs before the grass was cut. Eventually we have to run out of empathy, right? There are times I want to, I want to not feel the way I do for animals- for bugs- for snakes- for every none human being in distress, because it’s exhausting. I used to not like feeling this way because it made me “weird” “too sensitive” “unrealistic” so on and so fourth – to my peers, my friends, my family. The humans in my life. Though the bugs I save from drowning in pools, the snakes I hold up traffic for to get them safely slithered across, the birds I hand make nests for Bc their babies are dying from lice infestations – have never been able to thank me – their just being able to continue to live is gratitude enough- it trumps being called too sensitive, crazy, dumb, weird, etc… Mercy is something I was born with. It was given to me by God himself, sometimes I say the love he has given me for animals is a blessing and a curse. And I mean it. Mercy is defined as compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within ones power to punish or harm.

As I looked at Minnie out in the yard today, she and I both know she has more years behind her than ahead. Her day has consisted of snuggles, naps, human food which was the perfect temperature and hand fed to her out of necessity for her survival, and a trip out in the sun until she panted twice then was carried immediately back in- I’m thankful that whom ever decided I’m worthy enough to cater to her – god- the universe- whatever you believe- sees in me the good that I still have. The good that though jaded, tired, stretched & not always easily seen by my own eyes or anyone else’s- that I’m blessed and cursed with- is still there. What feels like 1 billion animals later, it’s still there.

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